Many Fridays I will post something humorous here about English, education, or pop culture. But not today. The following is no laughing matter. And the future of our nation's universities depends upon the words we use in certain situations.
This week at the University of North Carolina, a post on an employee forum warned against microaggressions and offered numerous examples of phrases that might be harmful to others. Complimenting a female on her shoes, asking people if they want to go play golf, using the phrase "Christmas vacation," and calling a significant other "husband/boyfriend" are just a few on the list. Such language, the post said, carries an implicit bias and can create a hostile environment. UNC, most recently in the news for giving students A grades for not actually doing any work in classes, has removed the post for everyone accept UNC students and faculty (in a brilliant twist of exclusionary irony--talk about privilege!). But I think they haven't gone far enough. Here are five more pieces of cautionary language that should be forbidden on college campuses.
"So, what do you do?" Simply awful. While you may think this is a simple conversation starter to learn about an acquaintance's line of work, you are in a danger zone here. You are implying that someone must commit to the hegemonic capitalist practice in which people "do" things in order to earn money to live. Asking such a question is infringing on people's right not to be forced to "do" such things. People's labor, or non-labor, is their own business.
"Have you seen any good movies lately?" Again, this seems like an innocuous query, but its implications are very threatening. You are asking someone to be part of the corporate system of movie-making (which we all know that just using the word corporate is a sign that it's bad) and if they have enough disposable income to see a $10 piece of art. Art should be free. Asking if someone has paid for a movie is tres gauche.
"He's a great teacher." No, just, no. It should go without saying that using such an aggressive pronoun is strictly forbidden. Beyond that, if a student uses this sentence, said student should be reprimanded immediately. Using the word "great" is insulting to all other teachers. Even if one were to judge proficiency in such a way, the requirements for doing so would need to be run through various committees, task forces, and governing bodies in the university administration. Such a policy of recognition would necessitate a three-year waiting period before a ruling could be offered. Besides, anyone on a college campus should already be aware that a male (so cis!) is not allowed to be commended in any way. The very thought of such sexism disgusts me.
"I can't wait for Spring Break." This is a tricky one, but still offensive. First, no college actually takes this time during the calendar definition of spring. Many schools still have snow on the ground, so this is a blatant misrepresentation of the wonder of springtime. And this vacation period is a slap in the face to any non-students, who certainly don't get a random week off each year. Also, the word "break" connotes a violent act (trigger warning!), which can be jarring for students focused on their studies. Therefore, this time of year should be called Late-Winter Respite (Which Should Be Available To All Even If Your Employer Doesn't Allow It.)
"I'm hungry. I'm ordering a pizza." So many things wrong here. To mention hunger is an affront to those on diets. Saying you want to eat does not respect others' feelings of not wanting to eat. Furthermore, to "order" a pizza is a despicable display of bourgeoise privilege. The proletariat who provide food deserve respect, not to be "ordered" like some kind of dough-tossing, sauce-slinging slaves. Finally, pizza is not only symbolic of the imperialism of the ancient Romans and Western Europe in general, it is a clear example of the cultural appropriation of Italian history for American consumerism. If you like pizza, you are probably a racist.
There you have it. Watch your words carefully next semester. Or I guess we could just not say anything to each other at all. I just don't know anymore. I would say have a great 4th of July weekend, but I don't want to offend anyone who believes the number 4 is just another example of semiotic intolerance toward other numerical signifiers.
This week at the University of North Carolina, a post on an employee forum warned against microaggressions and offered numerous examples of phrases that might be harmful to others. Complimenting a female on her shoes, asking people if they want to go play golf, using the phrase "Christmas vacation," and calling a significant other "husband/boyfriend" are just a few on the list. Such language, the post said, carries an implicit bias and can create a hostile environment. UNC, most recently in the news for giving students A grades for not actually doing any work in classes, has removed the post for everyone accept UNC students and faculty (in a brilliant twist of exclusionary irony--talk about privilege!). But I think they haven't gone far enough. Here are five more pieces of cautionary language that should be forbidden on college campuses.
"So, what do you do?" Simply awful. While you may think this is a simple conversation starter to learn about an acquaintance's line of work, you are in a danger zone here. You are implying that someone must commit to the hegemonic capitalist practice in which people "do" things in order to earn money to live. Asking such a question is infringing on people's right not to be forced to "do" such things. People's labor, or non-labor, is their own business.
"Have you seen any good movies lately?" Again, this seems like an innocuous query, but its implications are very threatening. You are asking someone to be part of the corporate system of movie-making (which we all know that just using the word corporate is a sign that it's bad) and if they have enough disposable income to see a $10 piece of art. Art should be free. Asking if someone has paid for a movie is tres gauche.
"He's a great teacher." No, just, no. It should go without saying that using such an aggressive pronoun is strictly forbidden. Beyond that, if a student uses this sentence, said student should be reprimanded immediately. Using the word "great" is insulting to all other teachers. Even if one were to judge proficiency in such a way, the requirements for doing so would need to be run through various committees, task forces, and governing bodies in the university administration. Such a policy of recognition would necessitate a three-year waiting period before a ruling could be offered. Besides, anyone on a college campus should already be aware that a male (so cis!) is not allowed to be commended in any way. The very thought of such sexism disgusts me.
"I can't wait for Spring Break." This is a tricky one, but still offensive. First, no college actually takes this time during the calendar definition of spring. Many schools still have snow on the ground, so this is a blatant misrepresentation of the wonder of springtime. And this vacation period is a slap in the face to any non-students, who certainly don't get a random week off each year. Also, the word "break" connotes a violent act (trigger warning!), which can be jarring for students focused on their studies. Therefore, this time of year should be called Late-Winter Respite (Which Should Be Available To All Even If Your Employer Doesn't Allow It.)
"I'm hungry. I'm ordering a pizza." So many things wrong here. To mention hunger is an affront to those on diets. Saying you want to eat does not respect others' feelings of not wanting to eat. Furthermore, to "order" a pizza is a despicable display of bourgeoise privilege. The proletariat who provide food deserve respect, not to be "ordered" like some kind of dough-tossing, sauce-slinging slaves. Finally, pizza is not only symbolic of the imperialism of the ancient Romans and Western Europe in general, it is a clear example of the cultural appropriation of Italian history for American consumerism. If you like pizza, you are probably a racist.
There you have it. Watch your words carefully next semester. Or I guess we could just not say anything to each other at all. I just don't know anymore. I would say have a great 4th of July weekend, but I don't want to offend anyone who believes the number 4 is just another example of semiotic intolerance toward other numerical signifiers.